Switzerland...

Hola!

I'll start things off with a joke!

I heard this one the other day and it was awesome. I hope that it will be just as funny read, as it is told. I'll do my best to stay true. There is a river in Provo canyon that is called Deer Creek and there are no fish in it. None. Hermano Urquahrt says (he came up with the joke) that he’s tried so many times to catch fish there but it never works. The joke takes place there.

One day a truck driver was in his truck and driving through the night. He was pretty sleepy and still had a long way to go. His music was on quietly in the background and his truck dog was asleep on the seat next to him. As he started to drive up the canyon he heard a noise coming from the back of the truck. He turned of the radio and listened closely to see if he could hear it again. A few moments later he did. It was something singing in the back of his truck. He carefully pulled off to the shoulder of the road and went back to see what was happening. He slowly walked up to the back and then through the door open to see who was singing in the truck. He couldn’t see anyone but the singing was getting louder so he cautiously climbed in and walked to the back to see what was happening. He moved a few boxes and the singing go louder until he opened a case and saw that it was full of singing cookies.

He said, “Why are you guys singing?” And they said, "Because we are lonely back here!" The truck driver told them that they needed to be quiet while he was driving and they were silent as he got out the back and closed the door and climbed back into his seat. He started driving again because he had a long way to go and didn’t have time for singing cookies. After a few minutes, he heard it again, the singing from the back of the truck. He again pulled off to the side of the road and climbed in the back.

"Why are you still singing?" the cookies didn’t answer this time. The trucker said, "The next time I hear singing from back here I am driving this truck off the road and into the river!" They cookies stayed silent and he got back in the back. He continued driving for about 5 more minutes when he heard the singing one last time. He sighed and patted his sleeping dog on the head and then cranked the wheel as hard as he could to the left and drove the truck off the road and into the river!

How funny is that!?

When Hermano U. told us we laughed and laughed and laughed. I hope its funny to read. Its not my fault if its not.

This is going to be another weird letter I’m sorry. This is what Hermano Urquhart aptly called the "Garden of Eden Week." It would be breaking the rules to leave, but we can’t really progress while we are here... I think everyone has been feeling that a lot. I know I have. Nothing really happened. We taught a lot of lessons, and I practiced a lot of grammar. That's pretty much the summary for the entire time since I last wrote. Except I did get a pretty sweet package on Saturday! It had an awesome zombie poster and a sweet Nacho Libre t-shirt. The zombie poster says, "What will you use?" But I’m not quite sure what I’m going to do with it yet. It scares the sisters too much to keep in the room so it’s on my desk at the residence.

To all of you who have been asking if I have met specific people, I’m sorry I haven’t yet. I've met a lot of cool people from cool places and incredible backgrounds but I haven’t met the people I'm supposed to be looking out for yet, sorry!

Something cool is, I get my travel plans next week! It's the beginning of the end of the beginning! and it feels like the end of it all! It will be weird to go back and live in the fake world once again.

This week I’ve been doing what I call "the mural series." We’ve had like 4 different teachers this week and for each one I draw a mural of them across the whole whiteboard. Some of the best were (sorry I don’t have pictures, words will have to do the 0.01% they are worth) Hermano Wood was an exterminator freeing his girlfriend from the sinful jungles of Honduras. Hermano Busath was slaying the dragon of strife to save his wife with his flaming sword of truth. Hermano McCleve came back on Monday and so his was the coolest by far. It may or may not have drawn a crowd of teachers.... (hint, it did!) It was him as the destroying angel. He was walking in a pillar of purifying fire through the valley of death (see Psalms 23) surrounded by the slimy hands of temptation and the woods of despair. They are pretty goofy when you read about them, but I made a lot of teachers feel like bosses. Everyone needs to feel like a hero every now and then, right?

A pet peeve I have discovered this week - people who think they are too good for the rules. Surprisingly(not) 19 year old boys fall very well in this category. I kid you not I heard this metaphor 3 times in one night. "The chain of command is something that is very important to me. I think it is one of the greatest things that people can understand. Good leaders always establish a chain of command. I hate when I have more than one person telling me what to do. It just make things confusing and it tells me that I don’t need to listen because they don’t understand how things should work." (this was after the other zone on my floor got in trouble for ripping a trash can off the wall when they were having a tag team wrestling match in the hallway... missionaries these days [at least they were with their companions, right]) "I don’t need the whole branch presidency to tell me what to do and have the mission presidency talk to me and my teachers! Where is the chain of command in that? It's like when there are too many cooks in the kitchen. Nothing works when you have more than one person cooking in the kitchen. You get 2 people baking a cake and they forget who was adding the flour so they add it twice and you get a dry cake. Or they add the water twice and it becomes soup. That’s why you need the chain of command. When there is only one cook everything gets done right." I commend his efforts and confidence in the metaphor but this attitude is ridiculously prevalent here. I don’t know why I wrote all that. Point is, I think following rules is important and some people don’t. I don’t mean to be a tattle-tale or anything.

We had some pretty good devotionals this week. They were interesting and I loved hearing the stories they shared. One was particularly great about the blessing of faith. There was a young man (returned missionary) who was preparing to propose to his girlfriend and he took her to a little cafe called the deer creek cafe. It was a small and romantic little place on a dock that overlooked where the river and the lake connected. He had the ring in his pocket while he and his girlfriend were eating, and was looking for a way and a time to ask her to marry him. As he was fumbling with the ring, because he was so scared, he dropped it and it fell through the cracks and into the water bellow. He didn’t know what to do. His girlfriend saw his face had changed and asked him what happened. He said, "I dropped it,” she asked him what that meant and he explained what his plans were. She was surprised and was not expecting this at all. She told him that maybe it was a good thing he lost the ring because she would have said no because she wasn’t thinking about things like that right now. After a few more awkward minutes, they left and the man went back to his home.

The next Sunday, he set up a meeting with his bishop because he was sure she was the one and he didn’t know what to do. The bishop listened to his story and looked at the young man for a few moments. Then he said, “Do you think this is all going to work out in the end? The young man said yes. He said, tomorrow we need to go fishing. They drove up to deer creek to go fishing off the pier that he had tried to propose to his now ex-girlfriend at. The bishop asked him how he was feeling and the man said that he didn’t know so they pulled two chairs up to the edge of the dock and said a quick prayer. When they finished the bishop threw out his line into the water and almost immediately something bit! They reeled in the fish, they both knew that they wouldn’t be able to catch another one. The bishop asked the man if he could gut the fish and the man said of course. When they cut it open they found ....... a singing cookie!

That took way too much time. I hope it was funny and for all of you who wanted/expected a ring sorry!

I hope you laughed and this doesn’t ruin anyone's faith. Sorry for a subpar letter this week hopefully amazing things happen this week and I can tell some sick nasty stories
Thhhats all for now folks!

I love you all!

Kate have fun this summer and get those apps done!

Jacob get ready for an awesome 4 years of high school! You’ll do great!

Mom and Dad don’t rub it in too much that you guys get to go to Europe whenever you want.

alrighty!

Adios!

ps. please spelling adn grammar check this for me. inm sure its atrociuosu

SNAIL MAIL ANSWERS TO LIST OF QUESTIONS

[These are answers to a list of questions that we sent to learn more.  Sam wrote the answers and mailed them home – snail mail.]

Dear Everyone!

      Thanks for the SASE’s and such. The questions too. I’ll answer all of them and add in any other info. I feel is necessary. Thanks for doing this.

      To begin—thanks for the 14^th mention of the lack of photos. I have no way to send them home. So . . . . yeah. You will get them when I can get them to you.

      And 1 more thing before I start the questions—Alma 18:

“A Wild King Lemony appears!”

Go Ammon!

Wild King Lamoni uses Meditate!

Wild King Lamoni’s spiritual defense was raised!

Ammon uses service!

Wild King Lamoni’s spiritual defense harshly fell!

Wild King Lamoni flinched!

Ammon uses mind reader!

Wild King Lamoni’s spiritual defense cant go any lower!

Wild King Lamoni became confused!

It hurt itself in its confusion.

Ammon uses testify!

Magnitude 10!

Critical hit!

It’s super effective!

Wild King Lamoni has fainted!

I hope some (all) of you enjoyed reading my interpretation as much as I enjoyed writing it.

How are the shoes you got with Grandpa? Will they work?

The shoes Grandpa and I got work great. They look good and fit fine. They will totally work, but then again the MTC is not the streets of Vegas. So we will have to see.

Do you need us to send you the other shoes?

I don’t need the other shoes. But hold on to them. I am actually super disappointed in the “missionary shoe” shoes. I have to shine them almost 2x a week because they don’t stay black. . . It’s almost scary. It might just because I am praying so much that the toe of the shoe makes more contact with the ground than my sold does! That’s just how it feels sometimes, although I do pray a lot.

Is the MTC food getting any better?

The food here is not getting better. I am just learning to use it better. If that makes sense. [Bobby] Fisher has always had the same pieces, he just has practiced and can use them better than anyone else. Not saying I’m anything like a chess champ, but I’ve found what to eat and what to stay away from.

      We have been writing some Psalms & Proverbs for the MTC and the first and greatest is “Thou shalt not eat roast beef.” That is always a sure fire bet for an upset stomach. Recently, they had mac & cheese, which was pretty good but that has only been once.

What have you been eating (still PowerAde and salads)?

For every meal, I drink 3 glasses of water except at breakfast I drink another glass of milk and the meal after gym I drink Powerade and the other meal I just drink another glass of water or apple juice. The good is pretty random but I usually go for the pastas above other things and sometimes the asian(ish) food is not bad at all. Our zone sits on the far, far right of the cafeteria, which is where the leftovers are so when pickings aren’t very good, I can just get some rice and then top it with soup or soy sauce. Exciting, eh! J

Do you need a bathrobe?

No, I don’t. It’s too hot here and I dry super fast and I just throw on shorts and a shirt if I need to cover up. I’m fine on the bathrobe department.

      Side note! Everyone here wears lava lavas. My floor started as a Spanish speaking floor, but each week new islanders get here. Pretty soon we will be the only ones left who speak English! So I’ll then wear lava lavas but lots of other missionaries do as well on P-Day. I was talking to a miss. From Africa and he almost verbatim said, “I like the breezes on my privies.” It made me think of you, dad. [This is a reference to a passage in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire].

How many are in your district - that has won the clean classroom award 2 weeks in a row? Only 5 in my district which is such a blessing. It makes class the easier and my DL [district leader] duties way easier. We don’t have the big friend group, but the 5 of us are really really close. We always eat our meals and do everything else with our sisters. They bring a great sprit and lots of fun.

How is your P-day time broken down – you have to be all done by dinner and you get 30 minutes on the computer and you do laundry – what do you do the rest of the time?

Today was the first time we got to go to the temple, so usually it is just laundry @ 2:15 and then class @ 5:30. We but than now and we do a session in the temple @ 7:00 am. Today we did one and then did an hour or so of service in the temple laundry room. That was a great experience. The rest of the time we study or eat or write or take naps. P=Days are actually more stressful b/c there is so o o o much I want to write to so many people!

What is the deal with Carlos and Tito? Are they real investigators or just “actors”?

I’ll do my best to better explain. During class time, we often do role plays as investigators. Our teacher will make up a persona or we will watch a short clip about them. WE also have “investigators.” They are not real but they are real people who our teachers taught and have been given permission to act as. We are supposed to think, pray, fast and treat them as investigators, to make the experience more real for all parties involved. I have often heard stories of the last day having the convert (ex-investigator) call in to talk to the class.) I’d love to meet Tito & Carlos.

      They are my teachers, acting, but it’s super serious.

      We also teach real members and less active members too durn TRC. Later we will get to teach paid actors for a few lessons. So no actual investigators but it still feels like it and we study like we are in the field. Real stories, real spiritual experiences, but actors.

Where did you find them?  . . . they found us J

Where do you teach them?  We teach them in classrooms set apart to be member houses.

What do you do on Tuesday &/or Friday for your service?

Tuesdays we usually clean bathrooms. It’s not that bad really. I’ve definitely cleaned worse. Fridays we don’t do service but I think we might keep doing an hour of service in the temple laundry room.

Have you seen anyone else that you know?

I’ve seen a few. A few from my BYU ward and few others that I recognize but not too many people.

What are your duties as DL? 

Meetings. Trigamys. Meetings. Meetings. I’ve got like 4 meetings during the week but I have to interview my comps and I have to interview w/ the zone leaders. Then on Sundays all my personal study time is used for branch council and leadership training. I’m always super busy but I’m learning and people look up to me and there isn’t much better than that. And I get to serve a lot too.

You leave the MTC on August 28 or 29^th?   Do you have any more info about that?

August 29 is my date as of now. I’ll know more the week after next when I get my travel plans! I can’t believe I might be leaving; it seems like I have been here for 23 years.

Are there other LV missionaries in your district?

Nope! Sister Nilsen is going to Reno, thought. She and I are pretty close. As close as elders and sisters should be. I promise that’s not a King Lear reference or anything weird.

Have you seen the missionary from the airport (you met while standing in line from Texas) that is also a LV-Spanish speaker?

 Yup. I saw him once. No good stories there.

Where else are the missionaries in your district going? (Noyes - SC, Harvey - TX,

Sister Neilsen from Colorado (Denver area) and Sister Ishan from Seattle. They are both cool. They aren’t too girly, or silly, or serious or anything so its cool to have them in the District. They are both super hard workers.

How do Sundays/church work there?

For me it goes Branch Council, Priesthood, District Meeting, temple walk, Interviews, Dinner, short meeting, fireside, movie. Lots of meetings for me!

Have you had any firesides?

 Yeah. Every Sunday. Jenny Oaks Baker was fun, but the Best was this poet, actor, dude, guy, brother who recited/acted out the journal of the scribe of Joseph Smith. Very touching, very powerful. Awesome. I don’t remember the other ones.

Is any part of your day not in Spanish?

Only when I’m being “disobedient.” Or with people who don’t speak it. And Hermano McCleve said I could tell jokes in English b/c I’m not as funny in Spanish L but J.

Is gym only with Spanish speakers?

Yeah we travel and do all that kind of stuff with other Intermediate and Native Spanish speakers.

How are your volleyball skills coming?

I like playing volleyball almost as much as much as I like serving the Lord. I also like poopies. I’m getting way better. My bumps and sets are coming along and I’ve been doing way better at spiking too which makes the crowd go wild. The crowd is just the voices in my bead but they like it.

Do the new watch bands fit?

They do! I only have 3 extra holes but I’m not too fat, yet.

Hermano Urquhart who weighs about 120 now said he gained over 30 pounds on his mission b/c every time he said no someone got offended. OO I’m scared. But I’ve been losing a lot of weight here. Like 10 pounds the first week. My clothes are pretty loose. Not for long I guess.

Does the alarm clock work?

I haven’t used mine b/c Elder Noyes’ is super loud and obnoxious so I didn’t want to add to the chorus.

Any special requests for the iPod music?

 Idk. Class would rock. . . . J but movie soundtracks would be great too. Grandpa recommends Johnny Cash hahahah. Idc really I am just so sick of MoTab. Like it actually upsets me. I’ve heard that Oberheezer songs like 75 times this week.

Have you taken any pictures?

I’ve taken a few. My comps have done most. They’re gonna email me when that can the ones they’ve taken. I’m still taking some too.

What is the one thing you would use, that is in the room with you right now, in case of a zombie apocalypse?

The railing for my bed. I could do some serious damage with that thing. Light, aerodynamic, sharp and hard. It would also help that the zombies would be distracted most of you . . . mom cough. Cough!

How are your clothes/ties working out?

Good! I’d like to have more ties but it’s no biggy. I definitely went too conservative which is fine. President Brown wore a pink tie today at lunch. Clothes are all too big but it’ll be fine once I re-inflate.

Kate wants to know why you are so cute?

? She taught me how? P.S. to Kate: I talked to the work out missionaries on my floor. They said I could take pictures if I wanted but I said I didn’t want to get into the pornography business. But they all smiled. I told them they couldn’t write you.

What at the MTC smells the worst?

The walk to the mailroom. Remember in Napoleon Dynamite when he’s tasting the milk and he says “taste like the cow got into the onion patch? It kind of smells like that. But the cows also ate those rotten starfish from Mexico and then died. Old onions, curdled milk, salty death, fecal matter, rotting meat, and Indian food. I’m pretty sure it’s the same perfume they use in Anchor Man. It’s horrible.

What is YOUR ideal band?

Well obviously, Jesus on the double next electric guitar. Whiney the Pooh [sic] on the Synth. Octomom on the Drums and my man Elton John on the vocals & piano. It’s called Angel Tears.

But there are others I’ve made too.

Jacob—your band rocked.

Love you all so much!

      (elder) Sam

Where am I??

Hello everybody!

Thanks for all the support this week!

Mom you keep talking about this special package... was that the one you sent for pioneer day? I thought I thanked you for that already; it was really nice to have more food to share.... JUST KIDDING! The El Trifecto shirts are sweet! Elder Noyes and Harvey loved them so much and I do too! We wore them over our shirts that night and everyone thought they were super cool. That was a very thoughtful gift. Thank you so much. It made all three of us so happy. It was funny because Sister Harvey (Elder Harvey’s mom) sent shirts the same night so we had two T-shirts in one day- interesting the way things like that work out isn’t it.

For those of you who don’t know, sometimes companionships that are three elders instead of two are called "threesomes" and I really don’t like that word. It makes me more than a little uncomfortable when people ask me how I like it... So I renamed our companionship El Trifecto because that sounded super duper awesome and tough right??? My mom sent us shirts that have three ties and three tags with each of our names with an 'o' at the end to make them a little more Spanish. They look pretty cool.

Emily Gordy if you ever read this, they almost look like tally hally shirts! I've never had one so it was an extra cool bonus. That just reminds me I have to somehow show them to Cameron....

As my thoughts are scrambled I will just go ahead and share something Hermano Urquhart shared with us the other day. Be obsessed with things you don’t do well. Be obsessed with the things that you aren’t perfect at. That really struck home to me. I often shy away from things I’m not good at and find ways to work around the problems without ever solving them. But I really like the word obsessed. It has the perfect connotation. I hadn’t realized this before but since I’ve worked on Spanish grammar I have been obsessed with the subjunctive. (For all you Spanish speakers, the future subjunctive is my favorite tense hahaha) I have constantly used it and practiced it so that I can get better at it. And it has worked. I understand the subjective which if you ask my Spanish teachers from high school I think they will both tell you that I wasn’t the biggest fan of subjunctive, but I’ve been  working my butt of on it and I’m not so bad at it anymore. Still not worthy to use it for the Lords work, but I’m getting there.

The next thing is pretty cool for me. I'm a nice guy I think and I try my hardest to be nice to everyone. But I’ve never been popular. People liked me and I have always been so thankful for that but I’ve never had people like wanting to talk to me I don’t think. But here, for some strange reason, the native Spanish speakers like me a lot. I would go as far as to say that I am popular among them. It first started with Elder Ruiz (who always calls me "las vaygahs.") We have gotten really close, he has frequently come to my asking for help with his English grammar and vocab and pronunciation and that has made me feel really good. He likes me a lot and often comes all the way across the cafeteria to find me and give me a hug or a handshake. I was happy but never thought there would be so many others who like me too.

I wear my IYYY 1/2 Zelda shirt sometimes and one day some of the native speakers saw it (Elders Polite and Gonzalez) and started calling me Zelda and then Elder Zelda and now this whole district of 10 elders is always taking pictures with me in front of the temple or inviting me to plank with them and other stuff too. It’s made me feel really special. But there have been so many other people that have found out about me through this one district. Even a bunch that are not in my zone like me a lot and are always coming up to me and talking to me. It makes me feel good. Elder Arana and Fernandez often stop my our classroom to say hi to me during the day and Elder Arana is convinced that we are blood brothers, if not actually related, and Elder Fernandez is always giving me working overs, but the kind that help me to loosen up, not scream in pain. It's really cool. I don’t think I’ve described the situation properly, but the bottom line is that a lot of native Spanish speakers like me for reasons unknown, but hey, I’m not complaining! It’s so nice to have people who look up to me and ask for my advice and people who help me speak a little less gringo.

I hope you everyone has seen that Pokemon King Lamoni thing I wrote. I spent like a whole hour coming up with that. It was fun and I think it’s super funny. A couple of the teachers took pictures of it on their phones and one of them, Hermano Stevenson, even bowed to me. No big deal.

That pilot program I was talking to you about? It is called TRC progressing investigators and it was a really cool experience. We taught a man named Gabriel who is from, Chile. It was a totally different experience. He wasn’t speaking Spanish. He was speaking Chilean. I frequently had to ask him to repeat himself because he slurred so much and he talked so fast. But it was good. He was really excited the first meeting but wanted to talk more to us than to listen. I'm sure that is a common missionary experience but this TRCPI is so different than all the other teaching experiences we have had thus far. We will see where it takes us.

Our classroom is still super clean and getting "perfect!" and "thank you!"s in the comment boxes. I've seen some of the other classrooms and I think we are doing the building maintenance crew a big favor.

I feel like I haven’t written enough and haven’t told you all enough of what is going on. But my time is running out and I can’t remember what else to tell you all.

I feel like I write this in every letter as well but if I get zero baptisms I'll be fine. I just want to make sure that I touch people’s lives, bring families together and make some people happy. That's my goal .I hope that's not blasphemy to say that that is more important to me than baptisms. If those things all happen, maybe another missionary a couple years from now can get the numbers. Idk. That is just something I’ve been thinking about recently.

While I’ve been here at the MTC beyond preparing for my mission I’ve been keeping my eye out for even the littlest opportunities to serve people. Like today I was late because there was a family from Brunei and they were each taking turns being photographer and just me offering to take one of them all together made them so happy. To me it was just a simple little thing, but by their smiles I could tell that it was a big deal and it made my whole day.

I hope to be able to do things like that every day for people in Las Vegas. That’s what I’m really here prepping to do. Bring smiles. I'm not sure how corny that will sound on the other end, or how many times I’ve written it, but it's the most important thing to me right now.

KK! I'm overtime and I’ve really got to run!

Thanks to everyone who is reading these and super big thanks to everyone who has been writing to me! You will never know how helpful your words of encouragement and love are.

Mom and/or dad, if you could send me the lyrics to halleluiah and American Pie that would be awesome. I have been trying to sing them but I forgot the lyrics.

AIright , alright alright!

I love you guys so much!

Thanks for reading

I'll be home soon..ish

That all for now folks,

Stay classy (insert your city here)

Sam (Elder Zelda) Anderson